Omegle Conversation #1

Because I don't just rant about things. I also troll occasionally. This is a conversation I had with someone on Omegle. There may be some references that you don't get if you haven't seen this, though.

Stranger: Who let the dogs out?
You: I don't know. Ask Karl - he was over by the gate when it happened.
Stranger: damnit Karl, why'd he let them out??
You: I don't know. He does this sort of thing all the time.
Stranger: maybe someone blew a dog whistle?
You: Last week, I asked him to hold my ice cream for a moment and when I came back he'd murdered three people AND eaten my ice cream. :(
You: That's possible.
Stranger: whatttt???? were they at least old? cause they don't count you know
You: Hm. Well, they were getting a bit old for preschool, I suppose...
Stranger: shoof cuz, you can't go killing the children
You: Well, tell that to Karl.
You: I keep trying, but he always distracts me with jokes.
You: Really funny guy, that Karl.
You: Terrific sense of humour - although it can get a bit morbid from time to time.
Stranger: tell me your favorite joke from Karl
You: OK. Knock knock.
Stranger: who's there?
You: Arthur.
Stranger: arthur who?
You: *kicks open door while resident is next to the door, knocking them back onto the glass-topped coffee table, which smashes underneath them and drives shards of glass into their back*
*steps into the room and empties three bullets into resident's skull*
You: Hahaha.
You: Ah, I guess you had to be there.
You: He's a lot better at telling them.
Stranger: Well as long as I'm not the resident
You: Hm. I hadn't thought of it like that.
You: Ah well, it would never be me anyway. I never answer the door during the day.
Stranger: what if its an important package?
You: I make Karl get it. He likes killing postmen - they can run faster than most other people, so it's more of a challenge.
Stranger: is Karl huma?
You: I think it's all the running from rottweilers they do.
Stranger: human*?
You: No. He's a llama.
You: But he wears a hat, so that's a bit human.
Stranger: yeah, if you put a rock in pants it becomes human you know
You: Well, I would test that, but I don't wear pants.
Stranger: so you must wear a kilt?
You: Nope. I don't wear anything except a hat.
Stranger: if its a bowler than that is perfectly acceptable
You: Alas, it's a trilby.
Stranger: is it brown? are you indiana jones?
You: Nope. It's orange, with sparkles.
Stranger: nope, you lie.
You: Well, that's a fair point. I actually have no idea what colour it is. I can't see the top of my head.
Stranger: I can, but thats only cause I have three eyes
You: Oh really? Where?
Stranger: on my head, silly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.