Hipster

So I've been having a nice, relaxing Christmas at home. Arguing with my family over the comparative expertise of mothers and developmental psychologists, dancing around the kitchen to Rihanna and enough booze to make my liver and head go, "Right. That's it. Fuck you too" all count as relaxation in this instance.

However, yesterday was different. Yesterday, my sister went ice skating, and just before she was about to leave, I noticed she had on a pair of these:

I mean, what the actual fuck? My sister is a hipster. I knew it. I fucking knew that this was where we were headed when she started buying 'vintage' clothes. I knew it was a slippery slope, but I didn't realise just how bad it was becoming.

My sister has 20/20 vision. Well, she has no problems with her eyesight that require corrective lenses. In fact, the glasses she was wearing didn't even have lenses. They were just the frames. And, as the more astute readers may remember, she was going ice skating. So she was leaving the house looking like this.

Ugh. I tracked her down later on, after the initial shock had worn off, and told her exactly what was wrong with the glasses.

Me: You can't wear those glasses anymore.

Her: Why not? They look cool.

Me: *shudders* They do not. They make you look like a hipster.

Her: What's a hipster?

Ah, the innocence and naïveté of youth.

Me: A hipster is the worst kind of person. You mark my words; if you wear those glasses too much, then before you know it you'll be prancing around wearing worn-down Converse, nothing but skinny jeans and retro sailor tops, and taking pretentious black-and-white photos of chairs to highlight the untapped depths of your fucking soul. And then you'll write loads of really shit poetry about existentialism and clouds which you'll post on tumblr. Tumblr, FFS!

Her: I don't understand how any of that is a problem.

Me: How are we related?!

Anyway, it carried on like this for a while. I played her this video in an attempt to show her what her future held, but she didn't even seem to care! And then, at one point, she asked me a stumper. A really unsettling question that I found very difficult to answer:

Why do you care? What harm are they doing to you? Just live and let live.

I really couldn't answer. Why can't we all just live and let live? Why don't we all just get along? So we parted ways, neither truly understanding, but both accepting of the other's choices and lifestyles (with the understanding that if she ever misused the word 'ironic', I would end her), and each of us felt much more developed as people for having come to an understanding.

Actually, fuck that. I just remembered this dickhead*. Hipsters can go to hell. A multicoloured, mainstream hell where there is only decent beer and Coldplay just plays on a loop.

Twats.

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* I really feel this guy merits a special mention. Not least because he doesn't seem to understand that camera settings exit outside of B&W automatic. I could take that sort of 'atmospheric' bullshit with my phone. Mess around a bit, you cock. That's what a camera like that is for.